Tips For Writing Strong Female Characters + How to Avoid the ''Not like Other Girls'' Trope

 *takes deep breath* Boy, that was a mouthful.

Hello, again, blogosphere. 

So, as you can tell from the title, today I'm going to be writing my thoughts on strong female characters. This has been discussed a lot on the blogosphere so I'm probably not adding anything new, but I've been wanting to make this post for a really long time, so, well, here we are.

To kick things off, what is the Not Like Other Girls trope, and why is it bad?
I feel like most of us have heard the phrase before, but in case you haven't, here's what you need to know.

Not Like Other Girls [or NLOG for short] characters tend to be pretty similar, so they're easy to spot.

A NLOG hates makeup, dresses, romantic comedies, sewing, cooking, and pretty much everything feminine, and she loathes girls who like them. In fact, she loathes other girls in general. Instead, she hangs out with a bunch of macho guys who do macho things, and she regularly out-machos them. 

She's kind of a jerk, actually, but she doesn't have to learn and get better by the end of the story. No, this girl never has to undergo this thing we call character development.

Oh, and did I mention that she's incredibly gorgeous [despite the fact that she says she's plain], and is either the love interest to a male character, or is caught in a love triangle between two guys [of course, because we just couldn't have a non-heterosexual NLOG, now could we?].

There are numerous problems with this trope, but what really bothers me about this trope is that it is/was [I think we're slowly edging out of this now] considered cool. 

Raise your hand if you've ever gone through this phase.

*raises hand*

The weird thing about this trope is that, despite being supposedly strong, these girls really aren't all that skilled or interesting. They also usually come off as whiny and pretentious. 

In recent years, people have started criticizing these characters, and asking for more girly-girl heroines, which I think is totally fine. It's great, actually. I love reading about more traditional feminine heroines. And, trust me, being more ''girly'' doesn't make you any less awesome.

Think of Buffy Summers. She dresses in a very feminine way, tried out for the cheerleading squad in one episode, ran for Homecoming Queen, and, in general, fit the girly-girl stereotype. She's also the Slayer, which meant she had super strength, and most of her free time was spent saving the world and fighting monsters.

And that's just the way she is. Neither of those things cancel each other out. And I like that about her, and I think it's great to see a more traditionally feminine woman as the heroine, and I'd like to see more characters like Buffy.

However, what I don't want to see happen is for us to do a complete 180 and start criticizing characters who are more tomboyish. 

Because, while it is perfectly fine to be interested in makeup and clothes and dancing and cheerleading and romance, it's also fine not to be.

Maybe you prefer pants to skirts, or skateboarding to ballet, and would rather watch an action movie instead of a romantic comedy.

 It's also possible to have well-written tomboy characters.

Like this girl.

When I was trying to come up with more tomboyish female characters, I first thought of Max from Stranger Things. She's tough and snarky, she skateboards. she plays arcade games [and is better than the boys at her game of choice], she dresses pretty casually, she goes by Max instead of Maxine, and most of her friends are male [though, I think this is more because the Party are the main kid characters, then to show that she wasn't interested in female friends]. This also doesn't mean that she doesn't have a few girly interests. 
Remember when she introduced Eleven to shopping and picking out clothes?

I believe very strongly in people being themselves. If being yourself means wearing a ball gown and a full face of makeup everyday then that's awesome. If that means wearing no makeup, jeans and a sweatshirt than that's equally awesome. You deserve respect, whether your hobbies are soccer, baseball and watching action movies or sewing, baking and listening to pop music. Either way, you're awesome, and you should be able to like what you like [unless what you like is killing people. Then maybe it's time to get some new hobbies]. 

So, if I've proven to you all that I have no problem with non-girly heroines, then what is it I dislike about Not Like Other Girls?

My main issue with these characters is their arrogance [note: I have no issues with characters who are arrogant and get better. Or well-written arrogant characters, in general, actually]. I hate that books/movies/shows seem to say that the girl in jeans is better than the girl in a skirt. Or that the girl who fights is somehow better or more important than the girl who cooks and cleans and sews. So, go ahead and write a tomboy protagonist, if you want to, but don't make her better than the girly girls. Show the audience that, yes, her fighting is important, and it does help....and the girl who sews is also important [I mean, if no one cooked, nobody would eat. If no one sewed, we wouldn't have clothes, etc.]. The fact that she's more reserved and stoic is just the way she is, but it doesn't make her more emotionally open friend ''weak'' or a ''crybaby''. Actually. it's probably more healthy for everyone to be more open with their emotions. 

Make her preference for jeans a preference. It's not a better than/less than thing. It's just an opinion. You should be able to choose what you wear. 

Alright, now here's a few tips I've found really helpful when writing female characters. Who knows, maybe they'll help you, too. Most of these also work for male characters, just FYI.

-Personality Diversity

And, by diversity, I'm not talking about having LGBTQ+/POC/disabled characters [that's a topic for a different day]. I just mean that your characters should have different interests/personalities/styles. 

If all of your female characters are sweet fashionistas who all act and dress the same, your story will lack flavor. Some girls are snarky, some are shy. Some like pink, others prefer black. And that's all fine. And, hey, don't be afraid to mix up some stereotypes. Have the glamorous shopaholic also be a tech genius. Let the morbid goth girl be a talented athlete. We don't all fit in boxes. 

-Give them personalities

Which characters have stuck with you the most? 

I'm gonna take a wild guess here, and say that there was something memorable about them.

Maybe they had a really sharp wit, maybe they had a cool sense of humor, maybe they had a huge imagination. Regardless, they had something. In my opinion, part of why female love interests are so disliked is because, aside from being the love interest, they don't really have a personality. So, give your characters some notable personality traits. Again, don't be afraid to mix things up. 

-Don't make them perfect

Nobody's perfect. Yet no matter how many times you hear someone say that, some people don't seem to get it. 

Now, of course, you don't have to make her incompetent. Yes, you should be giving your girls----and guys some skills. And you don't have to stick to just one thing either. There's no reason jocks can't get good grades, or that violin players can't also be good writers. 

Really, what I'm trying to say is that the best characters have a balance of good and bad personality traits. The ones who have some things that they're good at, and some things that they're bad at. It makes them seem more like real people.

-Let Them Have Female Friendships

Despite what society says, not all women are catty and prone to causing drama. Sure, some people are catty, but excluding an entire gender from your friend group is simultaneously unfair and sexist.

Oh, and also, you can be friends with someone even if you have different hobbies/interests/preferences. 

Again, if your heroine/side character/whoever you're writing this about is more tomboyish, maybe she'd have some female friends who are also more tomboyish. Or maybe she has some more traditionally girly friends, and they get along and accept each other despite their differences. 

In my experience, people tend to bond over similar interests [like a love of animals] rather than dress sense. 

Besides, I love odd friendships [*cough* *cough* Dustin and Steve from Stranger Things].

-More Diversity [Looks-wise]

Look at your basic YA fantasy novel. The heroine almost always looks similar: either blonde or red hair, very pale and tall and thin, and usually has a long dress and lots of makeup. 

Not that any of that is bad, of course. And for some characters....it makes sense to have them be very conventionally attractive, but for others, I think it would be better to have them be a little more unconventionally pretty. For example, we almost always see girls who are considered glamorous or sexy, but what about girls who are cute? Or pretty, but in a more plain way [it sounds like a contradiction, but it's true]. After all, every body type/hair color/eye color, etc has its benefits and its drawbacks.

-More Diversity 

Books/movies/shows/etc have been getting a lot more diverse recently, which is usually a good thing [there have been times when it hasn't been done well and times where it seems to be kind of anti-white/straight/cis/abled/middle-class, etc]. Of course, we could always use more. I would love to see more gay/bi women in stories. I would love to see more black or Hispanic or Asian female characters. I'd love to see more girls in fiction, period.

Don't just add in a black character and keep them in the background just so that you can say your story is diverse. 

I might do another post just on diversity, but we'll leave it at this for now. 

So, let's talk. Which of these tips did you find the most helpful? Who are your favorite female characters? What are some tips you find helpful for writing female characters?

Farewell for now, friends.